Autism, ADHD and my children.

I definetly don't get on this blog like I used to. My family is more my focus, as a matter of fact it wasn't too long ago I swore I'd give this blog up. Since the wife expects me to leave her alone occasionally I need some way to vent. Throwing the cats against the wall won't work, they're too quick for me. So it goes.

What brings me back now are the topics of autism & ADHD. My three children have both, as a matter of fact ADHD has been placed on the autism spectrum, so when someone claims their child has it they're automatically considered autistic. My kids have other sprectrum related issues, normally I try to go with the flow. Best to focus on the solution, not be a part of the problem.

But lately I keep running across web articles or radio shows where some self appointed expert will hold forth, never letting his ignorance stop him from bleating out his opinion.

Some of the trash I hear is; A) autism is caused by the MMR vaccine. B) there is no such thing as autism, the children just need firm discipline. C) ADHD is just a sinister plot the feminazi establishment in league with Big Pharmacy cooked up to emasculate our sons. D) ADHD is merely a lack of discipline.

Any one of these rants make my blood boil. Seriously. My children all exhibited anomalies while in the womb, long before they could receive the MMR vaccine. The citing of a plot by the feminazis of our nation along with Big Pharmacy is something of an insult to anyone's intelligence. C'mon, the same folks solemnly pontificating about that sort of a conspiracy would probably have no qualms about downing pills for cancer or heart disease. So it's funny how selective their belief in a nefarious Big Pharmacy entity is. As for feminazis, they exist but every one I've ever dealt with sooner or later crashed and burned due to their hubris.

As for discipline or it's lack, that takes my ire to a whole different level.

I know more about discipline than most. 22 years in the military is a good start. I also had a very abusive father who justified his actions as "discipline". How abusive? Well as a child until the age of 20 I would wipe my ass by taking a stream of toilet paper off the roller, tearing it off sheet by sheet and stacking those sheets one atop the other. Them I'd wipe, peeling away the paper a sheet at a time.

This was all done at my father's behest because he felt I was to blame for an excessive plugging up of the toilet. You get slapped around enough as a kid you'll pick up the damndest habits, like I said that one lasted till I was 20.

Thats one very small example of my exposure to "discipline".

My brother had it worse, he was a chronic bedwetter. On more than one occasion he got to wear his pissed on sheets around his face. Yeah, he knew about "discipline" too.

It isn't just these trips down Memory Lane that fire me up, it's the thought of  some asshole trying to lecture me on child rearing some day. In order not to believe in autism there would be several things they'd discount.

That would include the tears of my wife when she's hit hard with another situation brought about solely by autism and knowing our child will never be free of such things. Ever. For my part I slam my fist into something, tears don't work for me but rage does.

It would include seeing the frustration in my childrens' eyes as they realize they're different from their peers and have no way to comprehend the how and why.

It includes knowing that their best friends will always be each other, none of their peers express any intrest in dealing with them. So they're left with their siblings and whatever pets we have. Someday, as they grow older, that is very likely to all change and I don't see how for the better.

It's things like having an 11 year old who still can't cross a street unsupervised.

Having lunch with my kid and wanting to smack another kid who innocently asks, "So what happened to Joe's brain that he's the way he is?" That question gets asked in Joe's presence too.

It's going to Mass and staring down anyone who looks too long at my family when the children get rambunctious.

It's telling my boy he can't have a bicycle this year because I know it'll really hurt to tell him he'll never be safe on a bike.

It's always being on guard against having my children stuffed off in a corner to keep them quiet by their Sunday school teacher who has no training on dealing with autistic kids and won't own up to it.

Its starting every school year off with a lengthy meeting with the teachers, making sure they have some kind of handle on dealing with my children. This is in addition to meetings we have at least twice a year per child to discuss their problems and Individual Education Plans as referenced in the regulatios stemming from the ADA that covers them.

It's literrally spending years of saying the same instructions over and over, every day, every week and hoping that one day it will suddenly "click".

It's looking into their eyes when they have a four star meltdown and seeing theres a part of them that will never understand the world as it is.

It's knowing that no matter how well I take care of them, no matter how long I live, its inevitable that the day will come when they'll be on their own and I may not have done enough.

Last and certainly not least, it's praying to God every fucking day for the safety and happiness of my family and hoping desperately those prayers get answered.

So when someone wants to rant about how ADHD/autism doesn't exist, I wish I could have about 20 minutes alone with them.

Thanks for listening.

The VA, Ebola and me.

The family and I live about 35 miles northeast of Dallas. The wife works at the Presbyterian Hospital of Dallas. If the name sounds familiar, thats where we now have a walk-in case of Ebola making the news. Maybe it shouldn't be "walk-in" as he was delivered by an ambulance, but he DID initially show up under his own steam at the ER few days prior to that.

Whatever.

FWIW, the wife works nowhere near where "Ebola Man" is now located. She's safe.

So as soon as the man is diagnosed it appeared that everyone in authority and his brother loudly proclaimed, "Nothing to fear, we got it. No problem. Don't be looking behind any curtains."

Yeah right.

One of the lessons learned over the past 62 years has been that when everyone starts saying, "No problem." there is a definite problem not being addressed.

So today I was scheduled to go to the Dallas VA for a followup visit with my doctor there. I cancelled it because I can easily visualize some guy sitting next to me in the waiting area as he shows all the outward signs of flu. Flu is what Ebola can be mistaken for until you start oozing blood out of every hole of your body. Got the picture?

I'll just sit things out here in my little farming community for the next few weeks. That should be long enough for whatever is going to happen to appear.

Did you hear they now have 100 people under surveillance for this disease that poses "no problem"?

Sometimes paranoiacs have a reason for their suspicions.

Autism and the MMR vaccine.

Over the past couple of days I've come across news stories detailing how yet another study conclusively proves a link between autism and aborted fetal cells used in vaccines, specifically the MMR for measles, mumps and rubella.

I WON'T link to those stories nor go into any more detail regarding their source. My gripe here is with the seemingly mindless acceptance by the prolife movement of them. When did independent thinking fall out of fashion?

The basic fact is NOBODY knows with any real certainty what the cause of autism is. There are a few possibilities but nothing definite.

Yet as regards this particular train of thought we're all to believe that some sinister conspiracy exists to cover up an undeniable link. Funny how often these stories come from entities that seem to have their own axe to grind or cause to promote.

Whatever.

The biggest thing to put my panties in a twist though are the all too frequent supporters of this theory that will triumphantly spout off about it. They always seem to stop just short of accusing parents of autistic children of neglecting the will of God and thereby suffering the well deserved consequences. It seems to be implied that "good" Catholics would never deign to stoop so low as to have their kids vaccinated in such a heinous manner. Oh, blow me why dontcha!

As the father of three (yeah, I said THREE) autistic kids it burns my ass when someone relegates my children to the status of mere pawns in some theological payback scheme.

God doesn't work that way, all autistic children deserve better and the smug fools who have never experienced life with autism should just STFU.

Okay, rant over. Thanks for your patience.

My wife kicks some spine into me.

Our kids are back at school, starting today. When they got home I immediately came upon notes in all three backpacks detailing an "Ice Bucket Challenge" their school wants 100% participation in. Since theres some controversy about this ( http://www.catholicculture.org/news/headlines/index.cfm?storyid=22369&repos=4&subrepos=2&searchid=1408858 ) I wanted to get the wife's input before deciding.

Oh. Boy.

A bit of background here. My better half is an RN who came upon her pro life views honestly, i.e. through her training she realized what abortion and everything associated with it entails, thus she's adamantly pro life.

So when I posed the "Whaddaya think?" question, her eyes starting glowing, teeth flashed, hands clenched. Not pretty.

Well, I've got my answer. So tonight I'll be typing up three responses for our kids to take to school. We'll decline to participate due to our religious beliefs and anyone who doesn't like it can take a flying leap at a rolling doughnut. These fools are going to fall short of their participation goal.

But I have to admit, it was her response that stiffened my resolve. It's just a bit embarrassing to admit but there ya go. The wife kept me on the straight and narrow.

What the hell, the school administration probably thinks I'm nuts already. Everyday while waiting to pick my kids up I routinely pray the rosary out in the foyer to the main entrance. It keeps me focused on something other than the gratuitous T&A floor show from some of the "moms". At times it's actually driven some folks away.

But that is another story.

Things that go "woof" in the night.

On a fairly routine basis I'll walk my dog at night about 9-10 o'clock up at the local community park. It's always fairly deserted, theres a parking lot centered amongst some ball fields and picnic tables, walking the perimeter of that lot is what I'll do because it's decently lit up. Everything else is pitch black except the access road and a back road by the maintenance shed.

For the past several times I'll be walking and suddenly from in back of the ball fields will come the sound of three or four voices howling, imitating a dog. It makes me think there are some high schoolers just redassing an old man and his dog. God loves the stupid.

But it's happened no matter how nasty the weather (when I go at night I try not to pay that any mind, my dog needs the darned exercise). It goes on throughout the week and the weekends. So I have to wonder just whats they're doing back there thats so attractive? I walk those areas during the day, it's just open fields bordered by trees. Nothing back there and I've never found traces of anything to indicate any shenanigans going on, e.g. no used condoms, empty booze bottles, needles, etc.

What further piques my interest is that two weeks ago after listening to the "canine chorus" wear itself out, I shouted that they sounded like their mother when she performed oral sex on me. There was no immediate response BUT about ten minutes later as I rounded the maintenance shed one of our local cop cars pulled up on the access road and shined their headlights on me. I just kept walking, hands in plain sight, waiting to see what panned out. Nothing did. After about a minute the police just pulled out, almost as if they'd recognized me and knew I was not a thief or mischief maker that they may have received a call on.

So for about two weeks I adjust my route to stay out of the park. I figured someone might up the ante in whatever stinking game this is and I didn't want to play. It isn't so much for my own benefit, we live in the sort of town that extreme violence against an oldster would bring down the roof on whoever might be suspect. It isn't like some cities where there are clearly defined areas you don't go unless you plan on breaking the law. So I wouldn't worry about any attacks on myself.

But our dog is the kid's best friend (the wife's too!). I don't want to be in the position of explaining how "Mack" go hurt by a rock thrown at me.

But theres more to this story.

A week ago I went on my new route, walking in the vicinity of the park access road. At that time "Mack" kept yanking the leash towards the park. Figuring something had her attention I began wandering over the fields near the access road. Soon I spied five figures highlighted against the lights on that road heading up to the park. My hearing is bad but even so it was strange I heard no sound at all from them. They quietly went up the road, onto the parking lot and disappeared into the fields. I should mention they also had a fair sized dog with them.

I trailed along, just watching and staying back in the dark where no one could see me. Once they headed into the fields I went to the other side of the park and wandered over the field there.

Right now I'll admit I'm paranoid. If I told you why it would take about an hour or so but at the end you'd probably agree I've got some reasons for it. Part of this paranoia involves posing future scenarios of mischief and mayhem against myself and figuring out what my response should be. As regards this community park, there have been several occasions when I've called 911 about various events I'd witnessed. I'm known to the local cops, several have expressed gratitude for an extra pair of eyes they can depend on.

So anyway, I figure if I'm known to the cops I'm known to other members of the local populace. Maybe they'd like me to permanently alter my route and would use "persuasion" towards that end.

The scenario that plays out in my mind goes thusly; How do you put some pressure on a big fat old man with a dog? Well first you take out the dog, then you have enough muscle to neutralize the old man. What's one way to take out a dog? How about a bigger dog?

Now you know why the five gents with the dog got my attention.

The upshot of that incident was a minivan entered the park shortly afterwards, went to the area of the parking lot adjacent to the field the five figures had disappeared into, and were met by two who came out. They spent enough time conversing with the driver that I wondered if a drug deal might be going down so I once again called 911 with my suspicions.

A unit was dispatched, entered the park and stopped the minivan as they were trying to drive off. A brief conversation took place, the minivan took off and I came out of my darkened little field to chat with the cop. He informed it was a couple picking up some kids, thanked me for my concerns, stated he recognized me and that often a call like mine had a different outcome, i.e. someone would get busted.

Okey-dokey. I left the park right after that. Did I mention three men and a dog were still unaccounted for and I wasn't taking chances that someone had successfully buffaloed a cop?

So tonight, one week later, I go to the park with Mack. We get about a quarter of the way into our standard routine when the howling begins again. Whoop-dee-dew.

I don't shout anything out, I figure I'll just walk on as I normally do and when I'm in the general area where the howling came from I'll play things by ear. It was different this time, much shorter in duration than before, almost as if someone was letting me know they were there and what did I plan to do? Kind of baiting me on maybe?

Several yards into my trek, Mack balks. She digs her feet in, looks at me with a "Fat man, I ain't gonna play!" expression. Since a dog can sense things I can't, I figure a bit of discretion is in order and we turn around and go home. Maybe it's just paranoia and some kids were just redassing an old man. Maybe it wasn't.

So we got home and I told the wife about it. She suggests going into the police station tomorrow and speaking to one of our city's finest. After all this has gone on for some time no matter what the weather is like, theres some damned thing going on back in the darkened fields and you can bet it isn't a church social. The cops should know about anything strange, even if it's legal. Sounds good.

But I'll admit, I'm tempted to don my charcoal gray hoodie and take a round about route I know to that area. I'd blend in nicely with the darkened foliage, I don't make much noise when I'm quiet and I really want to know just what is going on.

I might be old, given half a chance I'm still as stupid as I was forty years ago.

So instead of acting on that stupidity I'll just write it out on this blog and go talk to the local cops in the next day or so.

Thanks for listening.

Disney marches to the Gay Gestapo tune.

So now the ante is being upped on gay 'rights": http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/disney-cuts-ties-boy-scouts-anti-gay

I'm sure Walt Disney is spinning in his grave.

I've said all along that this topic of publicly welcoming gay kids into the Scouts was a ploy, nobody checks your sexual orientation at the door of a BSA function. It just doesn't happen.

But the gay gestapo raised a fuss, the BSA fell for it by publicly addressing a nonexistent problem, now the organization will be pressured to further accommodate the advocates of sodomy. The controversy will continue until all opposition to the gay "lifestyle" is eliminated and the general public learns to sing "Gay Is Okay" at the top of their lungs.

So if a gay man can safely be left in the company of young boys why can't a heterosexual man lead a bunch of Girl Scouts?

Maybe that's next on the radar of the cultural elite, I don't know. I'm glad my sons will NOT be joining the Scouts. Call me a bigot, I'm not going to defend my views because no "true believer" would ever accept anything short of complete capitulation from someone of my sort. So why bother? But my kids will not be left in the company of anybody I don't trust completely, that includes gays, straights and those who aren't too sure.

God's will be done, may He have mercy upon us all.

Forgiveness, former Catholics, the Pope and my opinions.

I've heard it said that the most vehement critics of Catholicism are former Catholics. Makes sense I guess, if you're small minded enough to believe whatever the slights you've suffered at the hands of a few jerks applies to all members of the Church in general then you'll very enthusiastically criticize us at the drop of a hat.

I know a bit of what I'm talking about here. For over thirty years I was outside the Church, having left due to the animosity expressed by various "devout" fools towards folks like myself, folks who believed as I did, came from similar backgrounds as I did and lived as I did. The details are unimportant. After the first several years I was able to adopt a "live and let live" attitude towards Catholicism. After all, it might have stuck in my craw but it worked for a lot of folks whom I respected. So I just let the resentment die. Once I got sober it was a lot easier too.

What brought me back is kind of strange. I read a lot of varied things, amongst them were the writings of a dissident theologian, Hans Kung. Now THERE is a man who has no problems with voicing his criticisms! Those griefs start from the time of St. Paul and extend into current times. A lot seem to be somewhat valid. So valid in fact that I was left with the question, "How does such a supposedly corrupt institution not only have a track record for doing a lot of good but also for surviving almost 2K years?".

The answer seemed to be what Sister Mary Tarantula and her cohort claimed back in my elementary school days, i.e.; "Man is imperfect and that imperfection will infect everything, even God's Church on this Earth."

Okay, I can live with that one. So I returned.

Maybe I'm in a minority. That "live and let live" attitude seems out of fashion for a lot of "Christian" folk who never pass up an opportunity to sling some mud. The same fools who advise taking what the MSM states with a grain of salt when it comes to negative reporting on anything politically conservative. Funny how they'll unquestioningly jump aboard the band wagon to criticize the present Pope. Ho-hum. Whatever. Just another group to add to my prayer intentions.

God bless\them and may He keep them.....far from me.

Amen. 

A bad idea from good intentions.

Here's the link: http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2013/11/06/Schumer-Asks-DOJ-for-GPS-Devices-for-Autistic-Children

A little personal background if you don't mind.

My three kids are all on the autism spectrum. They go from readily identifiable as such (the oldest boy) to just kinda weird in behavior (our daughter, the youngest). I wouldn't let a single one of them outside the house without the supervision of my wife or myself. They have no real sense of self preservation (my nine year old is still learning that you look both ways before crossing a street or parking lot) and their sense of direction is questionable. The youngest boy (aged 8) can be almost unintelligible at the best of times, put him under any stress and he freezes up. The girl may one day drive a car, the boys will never do that. They've never owned bikes, the trikes we bought were unused due to a lack of coordination.

You got the picture ten minutes ago but I habitually run off at the mouth. Bottom line: they might benefit from a GPS style tracking system.

So I'll give all kinds of personal data about my special needs kids to some nameless, faceless schmoe via computer or telephone, then maybe some day I'll be late picking them up from school and an "uncle" will call them from the sidewalk. It's chaotic at best when school lets out so the teachers could easily miss my child walking hand-in-hand to the parking lot with a stranger. About all that GPS chip would do is help locate the remains. Yeah, that sort of thinking REALLY makes me want to apply for this sort of service. NOT!

Then theres another thought, what happens if the culture at large turns against special needs kids and adults? Suppose we had another Great Depression level economic disaster, in our present day do you think all the perks, considerations and government mandated charity would survive? Personally I think everyone would revert to the philosophy of , "In a rat race only the rats win." Please remember we live in a time when you're regarded as slightly odd if you advocate for the abolition of abortion. True compassion is only skin deep.

The way we see more authoritarian thinking creeping into our government the more I wonder if there might be an American version of "Action T4" in our future. Think it can't happen here? Tell me why and reassure an old sub sailor that the milk of human kindness flows like a river in the hearts of all.

Remember to start your tale with, "Once Upon A Time" as that's how all fairy tales begin.

Something that keeps me awake at night...

Things like this keep me praying for my special needs children: http://www.lifenews.com/2013/11/05/hemlock-society-founder-pushes-for-euthanasia-of-mentally-ill-people/

So just what is the definition of "mentally ill"? Not too long ago homosexual attraction fit under that diagnosis in the DSM, nowadays we've almost swung to the opposite side on the plate on that one. Try opining that gay behavior is unnatural and somewhere in the ensuing clamor you'll be called "sick". They're not talking about a physical virus there either.

Once suicide becomes an option for the mentally ill, how soon will it be compulsory in some cases? The camel will have it's nose in the tent then, only a matter of time before the all wise, beneficent State will move on to a broader interpretation and implementation. All based on the common good of course.

Think it can't happen here? Check out the history of mandatory sterilization laws in this nation. States such as California and New York led the charge on that one. Under the category of "undesirable and not worthy of progeny" there were such conditions as compulsive masturbators (teenage boys, beware!), those of undesirable moral character (see "Buck vs. Bell" for a good example) and mental incompetents. That last group was described at some length in "War Against the Weak" by Edwin Black. One could qualify as mentally incompetent just by being ignorant of modern cultural icons. Those of us over fifty would really swell the ranks on that one!

Please understand that the push for these laws happened back in the early part of the 20th Century; a time we wouldn't consider terribly immoral and dismissive of the inherent value of human life. The laws WERE enacted in over half the states, although not enthusiastically enforced (due to popular disapproval) there are still survivors being paid off by for their abuse.

So when the modern culture starts going down this particular road in another fashion we should all pay real close attention. Because it wouldn't take much for "compassionate" legislation with lots of leeway for misinterpretation to be enacted.

Then one night there'd be a knock on the door before our local boys in blue burst in to take my three kids off. I'd give it about 5-10 years before that threat becomes really likely. By that time I'll be in my late sixties and not too physically capable of stopping anything but a bullet.

Yeah, I pray for my kids a lot. Every one of them falls on the autism spectrum. Call it paranoia, I truly hope that's all it ever is.

God's will be done, may He have mercy upon us all.

This Pope makes me nervous...

Here's why: http://vaticaninsider.lastampa.it/en/the-vatican/detail/articolo/francesco-francis-frnacisco-27822/

Yep, he makes me nervous with talk like that. Hope he keeps it up, I know I can benefit from hearing it.

God's will be done and may He have mercy upon us all.

On movies and social statements.

I hate movies with a "message". Really, I go to see things get blown up big (Die Hard 1-5 and counting, The Expendables 1&2, The Road Warrior) have my brains twisted (The Usual Suspects, The Perfect Host) or maybe hope theres a good adaptation from the book the movie was inspired by (Lord of The Rings, Harry Potter) and sometimes just to see if a flick is as bad as I've heard (Tank Girl, The Toxic Avenger, Five Fingers of Death, Eight-Legged Freaks, MegaShark vs. Giant Octopus, Surf Nazis Must Die).

But movies with a "message" just leave me cold. Honestly, I want my flicks to have the same social/political insight as the popcorn I wolf down.

But maybe I'll be bending that particular rule soon. It seems that "Ender's Game" is coming out later this year. I'm no fan of Orson Scott Card, never read any of his stuff as my taste in sci-fi goes towards the works of authors like Asimov, Blish, Anderson, Sturgeon. Basically if they're dead, they're my favorites. Card is very much alive and so he doesn't qualify.

So much alive that he's evidently ticking off a lot of gay folks.Theres supposedly a boycott being pushed for Ender's Game. Yep, they're gonna send a message to that mean ole homophobe. As far as I can see his big sin is using his fame to promote his personal beliefs. Whoop-dee-dew-dah-day and what public figure these days DOESN'T do that? Maybe Alice Cooper refrains but only because he thinks people who get their political views from rock-and-rollers are dumber than dirt (gotta love a guy who uses a guillotine in his concerts).

Anyway, I think I might go see "Ender's Game" when it comes out. I'll do it for the same reason I started eating at Chick-fil-a, I don't like bully boys. Would I do the same if the man was gay and being boycotted by a bunch of Christians? Probably, as long as the movie in question didn't have some sort of "message". Hey, I saw the last two Harry Potter flicks after J.K. Dowling said Dumbledore was gay, so why not?

Now wheres the popcorn stand?

Respect for the position held...

A comment I made on another blog was removed, evidently I was less than respectful about the conduct of the person the original post was about. Whatever.

I get that sort of treatment a lot and probably for whats considered good reason. Evidently someone who retired as a senior enlisted man in the military should act with more respect towards authority figures. The idea is to respect the position the person holds no matter what their own personal shortcomings are. Noted.

FWIW, over the years I've come to the conclusion that is the cheapest form of respect in existence. When it's the only one cited you can bet the person involved is basically standing on the shoulders of better men (or women) than they may ever be. They're sponging off the accomplishments of others who actually performed in an exemplary manner and brought a lot of credit to their position.

Somehow my reasoning gets little traction, mostly (IMO) because everyone wants to worship some idol. Just ignore those feet of clay and prostrate yourself, Chumly. Got it.

It reminds me of an old tale told about Socrates. He was boiling some bean soup as an acquaintance walked by who called out, "If you learned to say nice things to the king you wouldn't have to eat bean soup".

The response from Socrates was, "If you learned to how eat bean soup you wouldn't have to say nice things to the king".

You can take that one to the bank. My own favorite dish is boiled ham hocks with kidney beans and onions plus a side of corn bread. Thanks for listening.

Prove you're the daddy, buster!

Oh this is rich: http://www.myfoxdc.com/story/22286875/va-father-says-he-was-suspected-of-kidnapping-his-kids-by-walmart-security-due-to-his-children-being-mixed#axzz2UVMArIED

I get interested in stories like this because, being an older father who looks more like my kids' grandfather, I identify with some of the crap that occasionally goes down for heterosexual couples "outside the norm". It was really a lot of fun when my wife and I were dating, more than once a waiter would start flirting with the wife in my presence. Pulling her close and delivering a big smooch always put a halt to things.

Since the birth of my kids it's almost routine to have sales clerks mention how cute it is to see a man with his grandkids. Noted. Haven't been stopped by any cops or security (yet). But you can't take anything for granted and every time one of my special needs darlings has a four star public meltdown I brace myself, expecting some dogooding buttinski to jump in and demand to know just who I am and what is my exact relation to the screaming angelic urchin in my grasp.

So I feel this guy's pain. Big time.

I quit.

Over the past few years it's become apparent that my kids are not getting the sort of religious instruction they need. In many ways our parish is great, we've a strong pro life movement, growing ministry to those parents with special needs kids, etc.

But as far as religious ed, well it ain't all it should be.

Maybe I expect too much from a group of folks who only see my kids for one hour every week during the school year. They can only do so much and maybe the heave lifting should be done by parents like myself who put their darlings in public schools (out of necessity in our case, private schools don't have the money or other resources to deal with special needs kids).

So school is now in session. I have just about no idea where to start, but anything they're taught will be an improvement over the "Jesus loves me" happy, clappy pap they're given. As I say, there probably isn't too much blame to be given our parish RE program. One hour a week isn't jack and if a parent isn't the one holding primary responsibility for passing on the Faith to their kids then who is? Isn't my family my first responsibility? Their grasp of God's will for us supersedes my opining on how the nation is going to hell and how soon the government will lock us all down in totalitarian fashion. These things may all happen, they've happened before in other lands. But knowledge of God's desires was paramount for believers then and will continue to be so in our own land. With the diminishing of our liberties it may be even more vital to have that knowledge, so that the will to resist is much stronger. It all starts in the home. My turn at bat and I'd better do my best.

So I'm quitting blogging for the most part. Not enough time for it right now. Maybe I'll post once in a while, I'll definitely keep up to speed with the alternative media, my family deserves the man of the house to know what wolves may come to the door. At the same time though I'll be using this computer more for education resources than anything else.

My blogging and Facebook days are coming to a screaming halt now.

Vaya con Dios folks. God's will be done and may he have mercy on us all.

I finally did it...

Today I was put into the VA health care system. My hearing aids (issued in September of '92) are shot and I need new ones. They can't be repaired (one audiologist told me I was using the equivalent of an 8 track tape player in a world full of I-pods) The cost of replacement is sky high so to the government I go. You do what you have to.

I've dragged my feet on this over the years, ostensibly for different reasons at various times but the honest-to-God REAL reason is this: I've always felt the size of the money pie that the VA can cut into is limited. Therefore a soldier or marine who had his hand blown off in (pick your country) should have priority over a sub sailor whose job was too noisy at a time when there was no such thing as a hearing conservation program and EVERYBODY knew that if you stayed on subs long enough your hearing would suffer. It was expected and accepted!

But my kids need a father whom they can actually talk to without constant repetition, their father needs to hear them at all times. So for selfish reasons like that I got into the VA system.

Going down to the facility in Dallas this morning only made me feel justified in how long I waited. There are a lot of people there still dealing with mementos and souvenirs of Korea, Viet Nam, Iraq, Afghanistan, etc.

I know I did the right thing by signing up for new hearing aids, I'm still coming to grips with finally doing it.

The start of today.

I took some cupcakes to my kids' elementary school this morning, my daughter has her birthday tomorrow so a class treat that recognized it was in order.

As I stood in line in the school office a gaggle of youngsters came in and clustered around the counter. They pressed together as an assistant coach broke out a microphone and turned on the PA system He then led the little ones in the national Pledge of Allegiance, the Texas Pledge of Allegiance (yep, they've got one!) and a moment of silence for prayer or whatever. This whole thing was broadcast throughout the school.

Then the PA was turned off and the kids sent back to class.

Some days I really like living here. This was one of them.

Cookbooks, vulgarity and setting an example.

I'm the stay-at-home parent in our household. The wife and I decided on that course of action long before we had kids. We'd both been "latch key children", I've the honor (?) of living it before it had a name. But for both of us it was a highly negative experience.

So regardless of how many of our friends have a marriage where BOTH spouses work (and that would be most of the folks we know) we decided to do it in the manner we thought best.

So far, so good. I've a recipe for chocolate chip cookies that some of the women of our church have actually oohed and aahed over.

Speaking of recipes, I was in the public library the other day checking out cookbooks. It was kind of jarring to come across one with the title of "Skinny Bitch Recipes".

C'mon, have we sunk that low in our culture that even cookbooks have profanity in their titles? The question is already answered.

Thinking about it though, I can't really throw too many stones here. My language on this blog is rather "salty" and not for the view of youngsters. Mote in their eye, beam in my own.

So I'll be cleaning it up here. To paraphrase an old AA saying, "Remember that you may be the only copy of the Catechism somebody comes across today."

I can't change people, places or things. I CAN change myself.

God's will be done.

What the @#$%ing cat taught me.

That was what I called her on good days.

I used the past tense because we put our oldest feline down last week. She was wasting away, thirteen years old and on her final legs. Time to go.

It was strictly my wife's cat. The animal never had any use for me. N-E-V-E-R. From the time the wife brought her home and she took one look at me and ran away, the tone of our relation to one another was set. Who knows why? I'm not much for cats, they've always been the wife's thing.

Anyway for thirteen years I'd get growled at, hissed at, spat at. I cheerfully returned the sentiment by scaring the bejayzus out of "Speedy" when I could. Towards the end we tolerated one another, I figured it was the least she could finally do for the guy who'd emptied her litter box every day for over a decade, took her to the vet when necessary, moved the entire entertainment center TWICE when the stupid animal got herself trapped behind it (our cats aren't too bright for some reason).

So down she went last Thursday, we immediately got another cat so the impact on the kids would be minimal. They came home, saw the new (and more sociable) addition to the family, wept briefly over their pet's death and now have us listing "Speedy" amongst our intentions every night when we all pray the rosary. Nope, it doesn't jibe with Catholic beliefs. For animals you can bet dead is dead. But my children don't need to grow up that fast.

Yet it's funny, I honestly miss the little pain in the ass. Go figure.

I guess I learned you can care for someone/something even when they despise you.

Even a stinking cat.

Sister Mary Tarantula used to try this trick too...

So now the White House has provided "proof" that Dear Leader actually shot a gun at Camp David. Here's the link and please note the admonishment about altering the pic: http://www.breitbart.com/InstaBlog/2013/02/02/White-House-Warns-Don-t-Photoshop-Obama-Gun-Pic

Good thing they put out that warning: http://moonbattery.com/?p=25085 and http://moonbattery.com/?p=25046 plus http://moonbattery.com/?p=25094 and last but certainly not least: http://www.thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog/caption-barry-gets-his-gun-t10649.html

Authoritarian assholes never learn the simple lesson that if you tell people who dislike you not to do something, they'll do it! Just as sure as God made little green apples.

Yes, Sister Mary Tarantula got pretty much the same reaction. We didn't have computers then. Hell ballpoint pens were all the rage, they sure beat the snot out of cartridge pens, which were better than fountain pens. But now I'm just dating myself. Sometime I'll have to relate how an entire class of 8th graders ran out of a Catholic elementary school and screaming for a nun to get screwed We got away with it too! Ah, the 60's!

Thanks for listening.

Loneliness, insanity and other cheery thoughts.

No, I'm neither lonely or certifiably insane. Not for a very long time.

But at one time I felt like I was separated from the rest of humanity by some sort of invisible wall. A wall that kept me from connecting to others, even when I was married. The wall that insured I'd be alone in the worst way all my days on this earth.

It took a while to get through that wall. It took getting sober (alcohol is a depressant, gee wonder if that played into it?) but that was only the start of a start.

It took a bit of therapy. It took a lot of prayer, if you want to call it "prayer" when you're standing in a chapel at midnight screaming for Christ to come off the cross so you can kick his ass. Or at least try to.

More than anything else, it took constantly reminding myself that I was no different than anyone else. That everyone spent too much time alone, "too much" being a subjective judgment call. I'm naturally a loner, can stay by myself for longer than most folks. But even a loner can feel his sanity slipping away when he's too long in his own company. Been there done that.

However the realization that everyone goes through the same emotions, many of the same trials, marking a lot of the same milestones in life was what broke that feeling of isolation.

Being able to sit in a mall and watch everyone walk past, I do mean everyone. Didn't matter if they were black, white, gay, straight, male, female, young or old. I got to a point where I'd sit sipping my coffee and thinking how many of them were probably going through the same crap I was or had been going through. Every one of them putting on a "happy face" or "John Wayne mask" to show to the world, while feeling like they're dying inside.

What was the tag line of that old TV show, "The Naked City"? Something about there being eight million stories in it. Too true.

We've all got our times in our personal deserts. We all get to spend time screaming at God. We all get to be one of eight million (at least). So we've a fair bit of company in life and it's tribulations.

Now when the shit hits my personal fan I go sit in the mall and drink coffee. I watch people and pray for all of us. We need it. We're all just trying to get by and hoping no one hears the screams from inside our heads.

I also have improved on my prayers concerning my own problems. Now I pray God's will be done and for the fortitude to sweat it out. So far, so good.

The reason for this post? Nothing special, just passing on something that might help others. God's will be done.