Just how bad can it get?

That seems to be the underlying thought a lot of folks have when excusing the actions of the NSA. It seems that belief in common sense and it's pervasive influence over the dingbats of our nation never dies. "It can't happen here" is the unspoken refrain.

Then I read stuff like this and I'm not too sure: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Accoustic_kitty

This is what happens when stupid people are given the money of other folks. If they'll try off the wall crap like wiring cats for sound, what won't they try with technology that actually works?

Now excuse me, I've got to go figure out how to avoid my two cats when I'm blogging. They're listening you know, they're really listening

What the @#$%ing cat taught me.

That was what I called her on good days.

I used the past tense because we put our oldest feline down last week. She was wasting away, thirteen years old and on her final legs. Time to go.

It was strictly my wife's cat. The animal never had any use for me. N-E-V-E-R. From the time the wife brought her home and she took one look at me and ran away, the tone of our relation to one another was set. Who knows why? I'm not much for cats, they've always been the wife's thing.

Anyway for thirteen years I'd get growled at, hissed at, spat at. I cheerfully returned the sentiment by scaring the bejayzus out of "Speedy" when I could. Towards the end we tolerated one another, I figured it was the least she could finally do for the guy who'd emptied her litter box every day for over a decade, took her to the vet when necessary, moved the entire entertainment center TWICE when the stupid animal got herself trapped behind it (our cats aren't too bright for some reason).

So down she went last Thursday, we immediately got another cat so the impact on the kids would be minimal. They came home, saw the new (and more sociable) addition to the family, wept briefly over their pet's death and now have us listing "Speedy" amongst our intentions every night when we all pray the rosary. Nope, it doesn't jibe with Catholic beliefs. For animals you can bet dead is dead. But my children don't need to grow up that fast.

Yet it's funny, I honestly miss the little pain in the ass. Go figure.

I guess I learned you can care for someone/something even when they despise you.

Even a stinking cat.

It's the end of the world as we know it,...

...and I feel fine: http://gawker.com/5982891/meanwhile-in-brazil-its-raining-spiders

But thats okay, there'll be plenty of birds to feed off the spiders.

Oh, wait: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw0FP9putKM

Never mind.

SBD's will get you in trouble.

Here's the story: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/coworkers-attacked-by-gas-645132

Seriously, is this a valid use of our tax money? IMHO, it stinks.

Instead of farting around and trying to get this guy to put a cork in things, the bosses at this office should tell "Stinky" to get a high velocity fan. Yep, as noted in the report it may temporarily cause the smell to travel further. But speaking from experience I can state it'll dissipate much sooner. As to how I would know of these things, let's just say my favorite meal used to be chili and beer with pickled eggs for dessert. I always knew who my true friends were. I had none.

No wonder our government is so pathetic. Put the guy's desk in the hall and let him figure out what to do. Sheesh! The way things stand, any time someone does the "one cheek sneak" this clown will get the blame. I'd say someone should burn incense but there might be an explosion hazard involved here.

What a waste of taxpayer money.

10 yr. old attacked by Jabba the Hut....

Just check out the mug on this guy: http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2012/10/05/police-oc-gang-member-tried-to-grab-boy-going-to-soccer-practice/

Seriously, if you're going to be into a life of crime you should keep yourself smaller than a U-Haul trailer. The story states the soccer coach tackled this guy, wonder what it feels like to dive onto the Pillsbury Doughboy? As big as this lug was, I'm sure the cops in the chopper had no problem finding him. The most difficult part would have been for the pilot to fly while laughing his ass off.

Ol' Stay Puft might have gotten away if in trying to haul ass he didn't have to make three trips.

About Obama's followers and their marked hands...

From the Book of Revelations, Chapter 13:

12 This second beast exercised all the power of the first beast, on its behalf making the world and all its people worship the first beast, whose deadly injury had healed.

13 And it worked great miracles, even to calling down fire from heaven onto the earth while people watched.

14 Through the miracles which it was allowed to do on behalf of the first beast, it was able to lead astray the people of the world and persuade them to put up a statue in honour of the beast that had been wounded by the sword and still lived.

15 It was allowed to breathe life into this statue, so that the statue of the beast was able to speak, and to have anyone who refused to worship the statue of the beast put to death.

16 It compelled everyone -- small and great alike, rich and poor, slave and citizen -- to be branded on the right hand or on the forehead,

17 and made it illegal for anyone to buy or sell anything unless he had been branded with the name of the beast or with the number of its name. (My comments follow) No, I don't think Obama is literally the beast mentioned. But the whole damned "mark your hand in support of Obama", as referenced here is just damned creepy. I am also intentionally using the word "damned". If the worship and adulation given to "the One" doesn't border on violation of the First Commandment, I'll eat my keyboard. For proof look at the number of Catholics who contort their reasoning as necessary to justify supporting Obama. May God have mercy on us all, may His will be done.

Apples from heaven...

Well here's something to take our minds off the serious: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8956076/Apples-fall-from-the-sky-over-Coventry.html

I love the way things falling from the sky are always explained as a product of excessively strong winds. That might even be true for some incidents, I doubt it applies to all. My reasoning is based on the exclusive nature of what gets picked up and later dropped. That plus the lack of any report concerning high winds in any nearby areas.

For example, as the linked article notes; apples have some weight to them. If the wind is strong enough to pick them up then why not also leaves off nearby trees, branches on the ground, mulch, etc? If those winds remain so strong that only the weight of the apples is sufficent to overcome them, why are they all dropped in just one area? You'd think there'd be more of a disperesed drop over a wider area if the winds starting losing strength.

What do I think? I think something/someone felt like pelting the Coventry area with apples. Who was it? I dunno. Why was it done? I dunno. How was it done? Hellifino.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 1 scene 5

Maybe Shakespeare got hit with a few stray apples too. Who knows?

This is no laughing matter!

Atlanta (WAOK)– A trial date has been set for a 20-year-old single mother who was arrested after her son made laughing noises while in a Decatur library.

Donnetta Foster was thrown out of the library after she said her 14-month-old son, Savon, made a laughing noise while looking at an animal flash card in October 2010. Ms. Foster was a full-time student at Georgia Perimeter studying Business Administration when the incident happened. She told police she was at the Decatur branch of the DeKalb County library using the computers to look for employment when her son began laughing. Police were called and she was asked to leave.

Police arrested Foster across the street from the library while she was waiting for a police sergeant to arrive at the scene.

Ms. Foster faces charges of obstruction for what she says was a request for the police officer to take a report from her regarding how she was inappropriately treated by library staff. Foster could face jail time if she is found guilty at her trial.

The trial date has been set for September 13, 2011 before Dekalb County State Court Judge Janis Gordon.

(Story ends here, my comments follow.)

This sounds like stupid piled on top of asinine. Tossing someone out because their 14 month old child laughed? I could maybe see if the kiddo was crying at the top of their lungs, but laughter from a small child is natural music (yeah, I'm softhearted. Deal with it.)

Then the cops top it off by arresting "Mom" for wanting to file a report? WTF?

Believe it or not, I've run into this sort of stupidity up in Connecticut. My oldest son resided in Wallingford with the ex and I used to visit him. Sometimes I'd go to the local library just to kill an hour or so while waiting for them to get home. The library had a very prominent sign outside the restroom doors warning that there was only a five minute allowance for anyone using the facilities.

I often wondered if they'd call the Potty Police, Crap Cops, Poop Patrol or Fecal Fuzz for anyone staying past the allotted time. Maybe it's a good thing I never put it to the test. It'd been difficult to explain to my naval superiors how I came to be busted for excessive time in a public toilet.

SHEEESH! This really is a Bizarro Universe! Where's the worm hole back out of here?

On Chaz Bono and "Dancing With The Stars"

Okay, I don't watch "Dancing With The Stars" and wouldn't even if the tube in my house was still receiving televised programs. It's always sounded like a dumb idea.

But it is popular. So with that in mind I have to ask, "What the hell were the folk in charge thinking when they chose Chaz Bono to join the cast?"

Undoubtedly it was done to appeal to the LGBT community, Chaz has nothing else going besides being born a woman and now sporting the genitalia of a man. Thats it.

But couldn't they have selected someone who doesn't look like the "Before" picture of a Weight Watchers ad? I mean really, if old Chaz ever had to haul ass then he/she would have to make two trips!

UGH!! What a tub of lard! I hope wherever the actual dancing is done, the studio isn't atop any seismic fault lines.

Plus, didn't that dimple on Cher's chin start out as her navel? There should be a limit on the number of facelifts someone can have.

Some days you get the bear...

Man Faces 2 Years in Prison for Shooting Grizzly While Defending Family

COEUR d'ALENE - A man charged with unlawfully shooting and killing a grizzly bear had so many supporters at his arraignment Tuesday in federal court that the judge had to move the hearing to a larger courtroom.

Even there, every seat was taken as his family, friends and neighbors, young and old, squeezed in.

Jeremy M. Hill, 33, pleaded not guilty in U.S. District Court to killing the animal with a rifle on his 20-acre property near Porthill, Idaho, at the Canadian border. He lives five miles from the closest grizzly bear recovery zone.

The grizzly bear is classified as a threatened species in the lower 48 states, according to the Endangered Species Act, and protected by federal law. Hill's charge is a misdemeanor.

Magistrate Judge Candy Dale set trial, at least for now, for Oct. 4.

Hill has declined comment. His lawyer, Marc Lyons of Coeur d'Alene, said he plans to defend Hill on the basis of self-defense and protection of family.

Following the hearing, his father, Mike Hill, of Athol, said, "This whole thing is a waste of taxpayer money."

He said his son was concerned for the safety of his children playing outside when a mother grizzly and two cubs wandered onto his property on May 8.

Jeremy Hill has six kids, ranging in age from 14 years old to 10 months old. At least five were home when the grizzly was killed, Mike Hill said.

The bears had gone after some pigs in a pen that the kids had been raising, Mike Hill said.

He said his son shot one of the bears, then called authorities to notify them of the kill. The other two bears ran off.

He said his son could have just buried the animal and not said anything to law enforcement. He said his son is being penalized for coming forward.

State Sen. Shawn Keough, R-Sandpoint, attended the hearing in full support of Jeremy Hill.

"The charges are simply unjust," she said following the hearing. "Hopefully common sense will prevail. It's clearly an issue of protecting the family."

She predicted that punishing someone who reported killing a grizzly will damage government efforts to protect the animals.

She said nearly $20,000 was raised by community members for Hill's defense.

Rep. Raul Labrador, R-Idaho was asked about the case while appearing in Sandpoint on Tuesday.

While Labrador said he needed to be careful in dealing with the prosecutorial side of things, he did have this to say:

"Clearly, we have a problem with the ESA when situations like this happen." He later added, "We're doing everything we can to make sure this man is treated fairly."

The Boundary County commissioners on Monday said they are standing beside Hill on the charge, saying in a statement that Hill had "not only the right, but the obligation to protect his children and his family."

The commissioners said they'll be seeking help from Idaho Gov. Butch Otter and Idaho's congressional delegation to get the charge dismissed.

The charge of killing a threatened species is punishable by up to a year in prison, a maximum fine of $50,000, and up to one year of supervised release. (H/T to The Blaze)

(End of story, my comments follow.)

Would the story be different if the guy was Native American? Just wondering.

My wife was of the "Aw c'mon, a momma bear isn't the most peaceful creature on earth." mindset. I reminded her of a story I read some years ago about a government sanctioned buffalo hunt that was disrupted by animal lovers on AT vehicles. One of the dingbats was quoted as saying he' d gladly lay down his life to protect an animal. That was back in the '90's, by now that idiot has probably sired numerous kids. Depressing thought.

In a nation where the cops routinely shut down neighborhood lemonade stands because the seven year old operators don't have a vendors permit, nothing in the way of common sense can be taken for granted.

I hope the guy in this story wins the case. Next time, he should just skin & butcher the bear and feed the remains to the pigs. I'm told it's what the Mafia does with their victims up north, seems it would work for bears too.

And bear stew is mighty tasty, or so I've heard.

The unkindest cut of all...

..SHELBYVILLE, Ky. (AP) — The dispute between a Kentucky man and a surgeon over the necessity of amputating the patient's penis during surgery in 2008 is set to go to trial this week.

The doctor maintains he found cancer in the man's penis during surgery and that it had to be removed, according to the physician's attorney. The patient claims the surgery was supposed to be a circumcision and he never authorized the amputation, nor was he given a chance to seek a second opinion.

Jury selection begins Thursday in the lawsuit brought by Phillip Seaton of Waddy and his wife, Deborah, against Dr. John Patterson of Louisville. Attorneys hope to start opening statements that afternoon.

The Seatons sued Patterson in Shelby County Circuit Court in 2008 after an operation that resulted in the amputation.

Seaton, now in his 60s, was having the procedure on Oct. 19, 2007, to better treat inflammation.

Neither Kevin George, the attorney for the Seatons, nor Clay Robinson, the attorney for Patterson, would comment on the case. George said Shelby Circuit Judge Charles Hickman asked the lawyers to refrain from making public statements. Robinson did not respond to phone and email messages left at his office in recent weeks.

The lawsuit alleges Patterson removed Seaton's penis without consulting either Phillip or Deborah Seaton.

George said during a pre-trial hearing on Aug. 2 that the case comes down to whether jurors believe the amputation "was a necessary part of the surgery.'

"This is really a fact-driven case," Shelby Circuit Judge Charles Hickman said during the pre-trial conference.

George has said that the doctor's post-surgical notes show Patterson thought he detected cancer and removed the penis. But, George added, the situation was not an emergency.

"It didn't have to happen that way," George said in 2008, shortly after the lawsuit was filed.

Robinson has previously said that Patterson, a Kentucky-based urologist, had permission to perform any medical procedure deemed necessary and that the doctor found cancer in the organ during the surgery. Robinson has said that Patterson "had no reasonable option" but to remove the cancer.

"Mr. Seaton's problem was not the surgery, it was the cancer," Robinson said in 2008.

The trial had initially been set for January, but Hickman delayed the proceedings because of pre-trial publicity.

"I'm optimistic we can seat this jury," Robinson said during the pre-trial hearing.

The Seatons are seeking unspecified damages from Patterson for "loss of service, love and affection."

The Seatons also sued Jewish Hospital, where the surgery took place. The hospital settled with the Seatons for an undisclosed amount.

The Seatons' suit is similar to one in which an Indianapolis man was awarded more than $2.3 million in damages after he claimed his penis and left testicle were removed without his consent during surgery for an infection in 1997.

(End of story, my comments follow.)

I'd guess it's a good thing Seaton didn't go in for a colonoscopy, he might have come out sporting a colostomy bag.

Anti-Semitic comic book defended as preventing child abuse.

I was trying to ignore the story about banning male circumcision in San Francisco. Some things are just too damned idiotic to be mentioned. But the latest round in this insanity deserves notice: http://www.jpost.com/JewishWorld/JewishNews/Article.aspx?id=223586

Honestly, how simultaneously anti-Semitic and politically correct can you be in this nation? "Monster Mohel"? It's something to expect in a parody article. But I guess you just can't make this stuff up.

The Jews are the canaries in our cultural coal mine. When they become accepted targets of opportunity it's time for the rest of us to wake up and pay attention, if for no other reason than that nowhere in the New Testament is their status as God's Chosen People revoked. We may all be His children, but like any other father He may very well have favorites.

If anyone thinks thats BS perhaps they can explain how the Jews have survived over the centuries? Being the favorite can also explain why they've had it so hard, lots of times that position means more is expected of you than of siblings.

Regardless, what was old is becoming new again as the Jews are openly persecuted for any reason that comes to hand.

Wonder how soon it'll be before Hollywood films, "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion"? I've inlaws that would gladly pay to see that POS on film. I'm not talking about lowbrowed Neanderthals either. They're fairly well educated, respected in the community, etc. My point in mentioning this is to emphasize Jew-hating isn't confined to losers out of a trashy trailer park who parade around in white sheets and hoods.

UPDATE:Scotju has corrected me on the subject of Jews still being Chosen People of God. Okey-dokey thats one of the beauties of the internet, if you don't get something correct theres always someone who will help you out.

The family that plays together...

WOODBURY, N.J. (AP) – Two southern New Jersey residents who robbed a bank last year to pay for their wedding trip to Las Vegas are now headed to state prison.

Twenty-eight-year old Charles B. Koch of Stratford and 27-year-old Cheri Harper of Malaga both received seven-year terms on Friday. They must serve 85 percent of their sentences before becoming eligible for parole.

They also were ordered to pay $7,600 in overall restitution to the bank in Franklin Township (Gloucester County), which they admitted robbing on January 8, 2010.

Harper told authorities she entered the bank with a concealed knife, while Koch claimed to have a bomb. They soon fled with an undisclosed amount of cash and began driving to Las Vegas, but were captured in Oklahoma five days later.

Weird dreams....

I normally don't remember my dreams but when I do, they're beauts.

The other night I dreamt I was fighting the diabolical duo of Cthulhu and Rosie O'Donnell for the salvation of the world. Yep, strange.

I kicked their butts from here to breakfast.

In case anyone is wondering, Cthulhu was a pushover compared to Rosie.

Maybe it's something I've been eating. Gotta check that.

Mamma mia, that'sa spicy meat-a-ball!

And the rest of the pizza must have been pretty good too. But not worth $2,600.

BRISTOL, Conn., Nov. 28 (UPI) -- A woman in Bristol, Conn., says she ordered $30 worth of pizza only to find her bank account drained of $2,600.

"The guy at the register was using the credit card," Katie Boucher said. "He was pushing all kinds of buttons, and my husband knew something fishy was going on. The receipt printed out for $2,600 for our $30.50 pizza." (And she didn't start screaming right then and there? God must love stupid people, there are so many of them.)

Actually, it was a debit card linked to her checking account, WFSB-TV, Hartford, reported.

She went home, checked her account and saw not only was it empty, it had accrued $230 in overdraft fees, WFSB-TV said Friday.

Boucher called her bank and was told it would take up to 10 days before the $2,600 made it back into her account. She was advised to go to the pizza place and work it out with the owner.

She tried.

"He wanted to give me my money back in pizza," Boucher said. (At thirty bucks a pop that would come out to about eighty seven pizzas. What a deal, sounds like it's time for her and the husband to work it out ON the owner!)

The proprietor of Amano's Pizza allegedly threw her out. (She should have stayed until he called the cops. They might have persuaded the fool to pony up the money.)

"I don't like people coming in here and telling me what to do," Von Manolitsis said. "This is my business." (Guess this guy never heard of customer satisfaction. Maybe he thinks his pizzas are actually worth $2,600.)

Manolitsis eventually said he would make good on the money, WFSB-TV said. (Mighty big of him. What a guy!)

Boucher said she'll be relieved when the cash is in her hand. (She might not want to hold her breath, the guy doesn't sound like he's "customer oriented".)

And does anyone else remember this commercial?

Weird things...

Anyone know if you can be haunted by a pet?

I've had the damndest things happening, I'll be lying in bed and feel a cat pawing at the mattress. When I turn on the light, neither one of our furballs is in evidence.

Tonight the wife was off and still on her regular sleep schedule, that means she'll be up all night. So I'm nodding off and I feel that same sensation, really strong this time.

Since the cats are really attached to her I knew they weren't in the room, plus the door was shut so I wouldn't be kept awake by the lights in the living room where the wife is. So they couldn't go running off even if they had been mistakenly left with me.

I checked. Both our felines are asleep near her.

NOW as I write this I'm wide awake (go figure).

We had a tabby some years ago that was attached to me. He was really aggressive, we'd always figured him to be at least half feral. Anyway, when our oldest was born the cat turned on the wife twice. That did it. Since he was really wild when caged up (a fact we determined after having to leave him at an animal hospital overnight) I took him for a ride and left him off near an apartment complex. He'd have never survived a shelter. Bye bye kitty.

So, anyone have any thoughts on this one? I definitely felt the sensation I've described after waking up tonight, hell I thought the bed would shake if it got stronger.

Anyway, thanks for listening.

FWIW, the wife reminded me that we've had other mysterious things happen before. It occurred two weeks prior to having our parish priest bless the house. Since then until now, nothing.

???

Okay, somebody tell me what the hell he's trying to do in this photo!



The damndest thing is that other than some puddles which may have been left from a recent shower it doesn't even look like it's raining!

And how did Joseph's Coat of Many Colors get made into a dress? Wonder where she keeps the batteries? On second thought, I don't want to know.

Next up: a war against cow pies...

Found this at http://www.news9.com/ via Lucianne.com;

OKLAHOMA CITY -- The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency is considering a crackdown on farm dust, so senators have signed a letter addressing their concerns on the possible regulations.

The letter dated July 23 to the EPA states, "If approved, would establish the most stringent and unparalleled regulation of dust in our nation's history." It further states, "We respect efforts for a clean and healthy environment, but not at the expense of common sense. These identified levels will be extremely burdensome for farmers and livestock producers to attain. Whether its livestock kicking up dust, soybeans being combined on a dry day in the fall, or driving a car down the gravel road, dust is a naturally occurring event."

Read the letter to EPA signed by 21 senators including Jim Inhofe and Tom Coburn

Many in the Oklahoma farming industry are opposed to the EPA's consideration. One farmer said the possible regulations are ridiculous.

"It's plain common sense, we don't want to do anything detrimental," said farmer Curtis Roberts. "If the dust is detrimental to us, it's going to be to everybody. We're not going to do anything to hurt ourselves or our farm."

Roberts, a fourth generation farmer and rancher in Arcadia, said regulating dust in rural areas will hurt farmers' harvest, cultivation and livelihood.

"Anytime you work ground, you're going to have dust. I don't know how they'll regulate it," Roberts said. "The regulations are going to put us down and keep us from doing things we need to be doing because of the EPA."

Oklahoma Farm Bureau President Mike Spradling said the rules could be detrimental to farmers across the Sooner State.

"We as an organization do not feel dust is a pollutant," Spradling said. "It would almost be impossible to comply with what's being addressed now from the EPA as in agriculture. We're doing everything we possibly can."

"It's just common sense, we don't like dust in the morning but it's something we got to live with," Roberts said.

Is there an intelligence test given for all civilian applicants of government employment? Do the low scorers get the job?

Seriously, just how stupid does it get?

Oops. I forgot all about this guy. His story was featured on Jay Leno quite some time ago:

NEW LONDON, Conn., Updated 2:29 p.m. EDT September 8, 2000 -- A man whose bid to become a police officer was rejected after he scored too high on an intelligence test has lost an appeal in his federal lawsuit against the city. The 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in New York upheld a lower court's decision that the city did not discriminate against Robert Jordan because the same standards were applied to everyone who took the test.

"This kind of puts an official face on discrimination in America against people of a certain class," Jordan said from his Waterford home Friday. "I maintain you have no more control over your basic intelligence than your eye color or your gender or anything else."

He said that he does not plan to take any further legal action.

Jordan, a 49-year-old college graduate, took the exam in 1996 and scored 33 points, the equivalent of an IQ of 125. But New London police interviewed only candidates who scored 20 to 27, on the theory that those who scored too high could get bored with police work and leave soon after undergoing costly training.

The average score nationally for police officers is 21 to 22, the equivalent of an IQ of 104, or just a little above average.

Jordan alleged his rejection from the police force was discrimination. He sued the city, saying his civil rights were violated because he was denied equal protection under the law.

But the U.S. District Court found that New London had "shown a rational basis for the policy." In a ruling dated Aug. 23, the 2nd Circuit agreed. The court said the policy might be unwise but was a rational way to reduce job turnover.

Jordan has worked as a prison guard since he took the test.

My questions have been answered and we're screwed. Absolutely, ultimately, irrevocably, undeniably screwed. Time to remove your glasses and all sharp objects from your shirt pockets, loosen up your belt, bend your knees, grab your ankles and kiss your ass bye-bye. I've nothing more to add.

Get off your butt and get to work!

I found this via Lucianne.com, 12 Things We Used to Do Ourselves That We Pay for Today

Let me just say this about that; Are-You-Shitting-Me?

Let me go down the list quickly;

1) Lawn mowing-mine will get mowed by someone else when I can't push the mower around the yard. Hopefully that should be long after I'm fitted for a walker.

2) House Cleaning-Huh? I thought only rich folk had that done. No way, no how.

3) Home Security-Never mind some schmoe dozing at the console when a remote alarm starts blinking. We exercise our 2nd Amendment rights and have the Castle Doctorine working for us. If I call 911 about a home invasion, it'll be for a cleanup squad.

4) Cooking-Yesterday I baked some more bread. After the last bread machine bit the big one (fourth one in eight years) I said "Screw it" and started making it by hand. No problem. All other cooking is done by yours truly, did I mention I just bought a pizza stone?

5) Laundry-Who would send their jeans out for cleaning?

6) Auto Maintenance-I do what I can, with everything under the hood being computerized that list is a LOT smaller than a few decades ago. But I know not to buy halogen fluid for the headlights.

7) Childcare-Why would I pay strangers to watch my kids? The whole reason we're a single income family is to prevent that crap.

8) Car Wash-Three or four times a year the minivan gets done at the do-it-yourself around the corner. Water restrictions in this area prevent me from doing it at home (go figure).

9) Hair Cuts-Okay, THAT one gets done by a pro. But my hair is C-U-T and not "styled", plus the only type of moose I come close to is on the cover of the Field & Stream mag I read while waiting.

10) Manicures & Pedicures- They're kidding, right?

11) Coffee- A grinder from WalMart costs fifteen bucks. Since getting married I've gotten spoiled. Prior to that I bought ground coffee and that was also the brand name. GROUND COFFEE in black letters on a white background. It doubled as paint thinner. They should take everything at Starbucks and give the customers an enema with it. With the prices charged at that place they're taking it up the ass anyway.

12) Painting- People pay for someone else to do this?

Now excuse me, I've a blueberry pie to bake, laundry to wash and need to price some shingles for the broken ones I found the other day while removing an old TV antenna off the roof.

I was terrified of dolls...

No kidding, the things scared the daylights out of me. No, it wasn't because I saw the movie "Child's Play", that flick was about thirty years down the road. I just had some fear of rubber or plastic people. Go figure.

That was until the age of 6 when Sister Mary Tarantula had me holding one in a school play. It was around Christmas and dealt with the five Joyful Mysteries of the rosary. For anyone not Catholic, one of those (The Presentation) has a holy man (Simeon) holding the baby Jesus and prophesying on His mother's heartbreak (among other things, hyperlink here). I was Simeon.

Sister M.T. let me know that firing a newborn Baby Jesus across the room was guaranteed to get me ejected and would eventually factor into God's final judgment of yours truly. Heavy stuff for a six year old but it worked!

Methinks the teacher cited below needs a checkup from the neck up, or at least a visit from a 300 lb., ruler wielding nun. Found the story at http://www.news24.com/ via Lucianne.com;

Berlin – A German court on Tuesday threw out the case of a schoolteacher against a pupil who had allegedly been tormenting her by scrawling pictures of rabbits on the blackboard.

The court in Vechta, northern Germany declined to hear the complaint of the teacher, who was seeking an injunction against the 16-year-old girl to stop her from making the drawings or claiming the plaintiff had a paralysing fear of rabbits.

"The plaintiff now has a month to appeal the verdict," the court's chief judge Mechthild Beckermann said, declining to elaborate.

Witnesses had told the judge that the teacher ran sobbing out of the classroom when she saw the image of a rabbit on the blackboard. The girl denied making the drawings.

Two years ago at another school, the teacher took a pupil to court and reached a settlement in which the teenager agreed never again to claim that the plaintiff "freaked out" when she saw a rabbit or heard the word.

Easter time must be pure hell for the woman. Why do I smell bullshit when reading this story?