Tagged!

Cookie tagged me to post seven things about me. Okey-dokey, here goes;

1) I've a tattoo on my right forearm of the submarine service insignia, its two dolphins with a diesel boat conning tower between 'em. It took ten years for me to finally decide to get that, I wanted to be sure I'd never regret the sucker. That was back in 1979, no regrets so far.

2) I thought seriously about a second tattoo, Cleavon Little supposedly had one like what I had in mind. It was a dotted line around his neck with "Cut here" above the line. Maybe thats why he wore his collar buttoned more often than not. After a few years I decided against it.

3) When I was much younger my life's ambition was to become a priest. Then I discovered girls.

4) Upon entering the Navy I was slated to go into the nuclear power program. During my "A" school (tech school) the "nukes" were seperated from the "non nukes" after five weeks. For the next week I watched the non nukes take twenty minute breaks, we were limited to five at best. Every night non nukes went out to party, we stuck around to crack the books. In addition, our instructors regaled us with stories of how difficult nuke school and prototype were. Being naturally lazy in these things, I decided to flunk out. So to answer the multiple question test at the end of that week I just used my wristwatch, "A" was between 1-15 seconds, "B" between 16 & 30, etc.

When I handed in my test (after five whole minutes) the instructor asked me WTF I was doing. "Failing the test and getting out of the nuke power program, sir" was the answer met by "It isn't that easy sailor." I set a record for the lowest score for that week. The following week I was a non nuke. Like I said, I'm basically lazy. Sue me. Best damned decision of my entire career.

5) When I was stationed in Italy I tried learning a few phrases of Italian the first few weeks. Thought I had it down pat until I walked into a pizzeria and ordered a pizza with mushrooms. Turns out I told the owner to go have sexual relations with his pizza. As he reached for the meat cleaver, in broken English he asked if I wanted a pizza with mushrooms. That probably saved me from being chased down the street. After that I used a Berlitz book of phrases. Ooops.

6) When my second marriage was breaking up, some guy in Newton, CT. put his wife through a woodchipper. Here's the story. I was also getting sober at the time. A local bar just off the sub base was selling "T" shirts with the picture of a woodchipper and the caption, "Divorce, Connecticut style" underneath. I really wanted one of those shirts! But staying off the sauce was more important, so I passed. It's just as well. The first few dates I had after that divorce always led to a conversation about the case (it was pretty famous and the first of two trials was held right across the river from the base). Anyway, it seemed everytime some honey I was dating brought the topic up and started to piss and moan about "that poor woman, what an awful man she married...", my agreement between whoops of laughter didn't sound too sincere. Ruined a few dates for me.

7) During that same time period I had bought a mirror with the following printed beneath it, "If you love something set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, HUNT IT DOWN AND KILL IT!"

Nope, I don't get resentful about things. Not at all. But I have learned the best revenge is to live a good life and not think about the fools who wanted to screw you over. Just my opinion.

So let's see. I'll tag the Ignorant Redneck and Mighty Mom for this one.