Bullies and their ennablers.
My six year old son (Isaac) came home with a mark upon his nose yesterday. When questioned about it, he stated he'd been hit by "Matthias". Hmm.
That's the same name of a kid who was harassing him last year in kindergarten. To be fair, "Matthias" was an equal opportunity asshole, known to pick on a lot of kids. But I don't worry about those kids, just my own.
If this is the same urchin, I'll have a bone to pick with the school administration. The wife has written to Issac's teacher, trying to verify this and get the boys separated. Should this happen again, I'll take action myself. For right now though I'll be content with coaxing my son to hit back as hard as he can.
I went through something like this with my oldest son (Brian) about 15-20 years ago. He was a target of opportunity for a class bully, unfortunately I was pretty much sidelined since Brian's mother and I had been divorced for a while. Anything I could say or do was discounted. Too bad because everyone involved contented themselves with uttering the tired old platitudes of, "Just ignore him and he'll finally leave you alone." or "Don't hit him back, just call a teacher over to take care of it."
This went on to the point where the little darling got his buddies together and they waylaid Brian on his way home, beating the snot out of him until some highschoolers broke it up (this happened when Brian was about 12.)
Then the courts got involved, the offending kid was sent to an alternative learning institute, etc, etc., blah, blah, blah.
Which is all well and good, except I wonder what would have happened if those highschoolers hadn't intervened.
Isaac is a sweet natured kid and autistic. So I have doubts as to whether he'll act on what I'm teaching and hit "Matthias" back as hard and often as he can. The school has an anti-bullying policy, so I wonder WTF they're doing to implement the sucker.
We've had Isaac "mainstreamed" because we want him to learn how to live in general society to the greatest extent possible. A downside of that is he's now more available to jerks wanting to pick on "special needs" kids, the same kind of jerks that like pulling wings off of flies IMO. So I worry about my autistic sons and how they'll fare. Welcome to parenthood.
One thing is for certain, I ain't waiting for my boy to be the object of a beatdown. That happened once when I couldn't do die-diddle-squat. Hell freezes before it happens again.
9 comments:
Sorry to hear that. Some schools are more responsive than others. When my daughter (7) complained of being bullied, I emailed the teacher and the principal. The very next day, the bully was seperated from my daughter and given some instructions. It appears that this was not the first time. You may want to keep a record of your communications in case you will need to take the school to court.
I often wonder about the attitude of 'just ignore them.' Usually bullies do not take kindly to being ignored, and a well placed punch can deflate their sails. Sometimes kids are just mean.
Of course, when I was in kindergarten, a bully was pushing me around and I punched him in the nose (with no prompting from my parents to take matters into my own hands). Redheads don't take s#!t from no one.
I'm with you SV. I'd even tell your boy where to him that little prick, and to even hold a rolls of quarters in his fist when he does.
Sub, I hope Issac does learn to hit back as hard as he can. The teachers can't be 'Johnny On The Spot' all the time. Look what happened to Brian.
The anti-bullying policies of the schools are pathetic. When I was in school 40 years ago, a paddling in the principal's office solved 90% of all bullying problems!
Rick, thanks for the advice about keeping a record. I'll make sure we're doing exactly that. Since the wife has a copy of EVERY email she has ever sent (not an exaggeration either), it's pretty likely we're already covered in that area.
Ranter, a liberal quantity of "whupass" applied on a bully will always have the desired effect. The "just ignore them" attitude stems from somebody not wanting to do their job, IMO.
VSO, his hands might not fit around the quarters yet. But we DO have a few rolls of pennies! I'm of the firm belief there is no such thing as a "fair" fight, so my boy will learn whats necessary.
scotju, those were the days when the same guy you constantly fought in fourth grade became your best friend by the time you got into high school. An occasional good paddling would help that too. Nowadays they'll send the kids into intensive therapy, often at taxpayer expense. Phooey!
update: yes, it's the same kid. yes he did it again in front of the teachers. Yes, Momma had a set to with the Vice Principal. Boys are definitely separated as much as possible...waiting and watching.
signed:
Pissed Off Momma Bear.
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