Two prayers....

God's will be done and may He have mercy upon us all.

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A Catholic who follows Rome & the Magisterium. I'm against gay "marriage", abortion, embryonic stem cell research, euthanasia, human cloning. Altar girls, Communion in the hand, Eucharistic Ministers and "Protestant" music in the Church doesn't bother me at all. A proud American retired submarine sailor. Our borders should be secured with a 10 ft. high fence topped by concertina wire with minefields out to 20 yards on both sides and an additional 10 yards filled with warning signs outside of that Let's get energy independent NOW! Back Israel to the max, stop appeasing followers of the Pedophile Prophet. Pro 2nd Amendment, pro death penalty, Repeal all hate crime legislation. Back the police unless you'd rather call a hippie when everything hits the fan. Get government out of dealing with education, childhood obesity and the enviornment. Stop using the military for sociological experiments and if we're in a war don't micromanage their every move. Kill your television, limit time on the computer and pick up a book. God's will be done and may He have mercy upon us all.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

This is getting real old, real fast.

So it's Sunday and I'm killing time on the computer while the War Department and kids take naps. The doorbell rings followed by a sharp rap on the door (I hate when someone does that, what makes them so stinking important they need my attention NOW!!)

It's two guys, supposedly from Texas Utilities wanting to (once again) make an offer I can't refuse in these times of high energy costs. Both these bozos are in their twenties and well over six foot tall (I'm 6'3"). I feel better already.

For those who wish to seperate me from my money, here are a couple of tips;

1) Numbers don't scare me, two or more are fair odds in my book. Intimidate me some other way.

2) I like pushing the big guys around. Growing up I was always told to pick on someone my own size. That gave me a permanent guilt trip when dealing with shorter folk, and most men are shorter than I. Sending big guys to my door just irritates me. If you want sympathy send someone short. Short, geeky females trying to feed the starving children of Lower Slobbovia work best. I'm softhearted/headed to a fault.

So bozo #1 launches into his spiel about an offer too good to pass up and how so many of my neighbors are beating down the doors to take advantage of it. I cut him short with the following;

1) How come TXU always denies sending anyone door-to-door for deals like this? (He doesn't know anything about this.)

2) How come these two probably don't have the required permit for solicitation on their person? (They ask, "We need a permit?")

3) It's time for you guys to leave because this conversation ends like every other one I've had with guys just like you for the past few months, i.e. I'll be calling the city's finest to let them know two unauthorized solicitors are in my neighborhood again. (As they leave, bozo #2 tries to shake my hand and looks positively devastated when I just stare at him.)

I then follow thru on my promise to call the local gendarmes. They show up about 15 minutes later, inform me the bozos have left the area before they could be found. I promise the next time it happens to stall whoever is at my door by claiming to have something to take off the stove while I call our city's finest. The cop says, "That'll work!", thanks me and leaves.

But this crap is really getting old. Maybe I can provoke a fight next time (if they're bigger than I). The War Department warned me years ago that if I wind up in jail not to call her, I'll be on my own. Maybe she'll make an exception for this.

6 comments:

ABNPOPPA said...

I give her about 24 hours without a back up with the kids and to make her prove (?) her point then she'll show up with the bail money!!!

Oh I bet I get a nasty email back from her!!!

matthew archbold said...

I think I have some ancestors from Slobbovia. They're nice but kinda' stinky and dirty.

SonarMan said...

You shoulda just kicked their ass, and then call the cops. Hey, it was self defense.

Subvet said...

abnpoppa, good point!

matthew archbold, guess you gotta get used to the smell first. I've got family like that too.

sonarman, this being Texas it just might work.

Vir Speluncae Orthodoxae said...

Well I don't know how it works in Texas, but in St. Paul MN you can't even defend yourself. You go to jail if you do. Yeah next time stall and call the boys in blue.

Subvet said...

Vir, thats probably the safest course. I'd fare better here than in MN. but no sense taking chances, fools like that aren't worth it.

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