Gain without pain.

I'm not too quick on the uptake. If I get the joke, EVERYONE got the joke (usually five minutes earlier), if I find out something scandalous you can bet it went around the neighborhood three times already. Wish I could say it runs in the family. It doesn't, it's all my own. Phooey.

So for a very LOOONNNGGG time I've been puzzled by things like a recent headline on Michellemalkin.com where the mayor of Denver proclaims healthy eating is the new patriotism. That falls into the same pile as the term "prayer warrior" and other nonsensical items that simultaneously carry a testosterone charged label on a innocous activity. WTF always ran through my mind.

But the little light (finally) came on today.

It's a way of claiming manly virtue without the inevitable agony of preparation and uncertainty of the final outcome. Let's face it, not everyone who trains as a warrior (the real kind) gets to shine like a modern Rambo. Some of us wash out. Having done my share of failing, I know a bit about that (third string on the high school football team guarantees you a good seat for the game and zippo attention from the girls. Even the guys in the band did better than I.) Yep, washing out sucks on toast.

So IMHO a lot of these confusing labels are just another way of glamorizing the actions of those who can't stride across the center stage of life. NOW I think I get it.

Kind of like the kid who couldn't play on the Little League team to save his life eagerly waiting to get his participation "trophy" at the end-of-season banquet. He wants to be important in something he'll never be good at, same thing with self-styled "patriots"who go for the salad bar at McDonald's. They're one step away from the fools who buy a chestful of ribbons for their dress blues right after leaving boot camp (loved those guys, they were such fun to ridicule).

Now I've got the big flick, something I'm sure everyone else had at the end of last week.