Actual Newspaper Headlines
Navy Changes Skirt Policy, Making Apparel Optional (now why couldn't they have done that when I was on active duty?)
Utah Condemned to Face Firing Squad (must be a Mormon thing)
Woman Kicked by her Husband said to be Greatly Improved (is Islam involved in this?)
Court to Try Shooting Defendant (eliminate the middle man)
Lucky Victim Stabbed Three Times (could have been four)
Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire (taste of his own medicine?)
Bridge Held Up By Red Tape (maybe they meant duct tape)
Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told (ya think?)
British Left Waffles on Falklands (forgot the syrup?)
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case (he was kind of tight anyway)
Expert Says Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash (and it took an expert for that?)
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft (make Beano mandatory before liftoff)
Supreme Court Rules that Murderers shall not be Electrocuted Twice for the Same Crime (someone was afraid once wasn't enough?)
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers (ramming speed!)
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped (maybe it's tied into the next one?)
Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus? (not if the paperwork was properly done)
Panda Mating Fails - Veterinarian Takes Over (a man has to do what a man has to do)
Miners Refuse to Work After Death (damned unions)
War Dims Hope for Peace (funny how that happens)
Smokers are Productive, but Death Cuts Efficiency (it has a way of doing that)
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures (who'd a thunk it?)
4 comments:
Loved the first one...and yup..why didn't they do that when I was in...I had to go to all the trouble of undressing them Waves... ;-)
I dunno--the only time I had much contact with the navy was a Little Creek--amphibs and naval gunfire spotters course--the Waves weren't nearly as impressive as the puff board!
Cookie, they weren't falling all over themselves to undress for you? I'm shocked.
Ignorant Redneck, sailors are notorious for not being particular. All those stories sailors tell about pretty native girls of the South Pacific? If you've ever seen the average Polynesian woman you'd realize what a few months of all male company does to your standards.
Well, that does explain all the stories I'v heard about the Panmanian hotties, then seeing Panamanian women for real!
But, I gotta admit, looking around an Army base, I don't think the Navy has cornered the market on "not picky".
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