I really hoped this guy was Episcopalian.

Bless me Father, I have sinned. It has been one week since my last Confession, since then I failed to sort the plastic out of my garbage three times. I ran the dishwasher with only half a load twice. I've used disposable diapers on my baby girl throughout this whole time. I've also bought nonorganic produce when I could have gone organic......

So what constitutes mortal sin IAW this numbskull? How many Hail Mary's do I get to recite for the dirty diapers? Guess it might depend on whats in them. If the girl at the checkout counter asks, "Paper or plastic?" do I get an indulgence for saying, "Neither, I'll just carry them out."?

Our Lady of the Landfill, pray for us.